Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize