but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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