sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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