But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
