I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
