we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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