I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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