With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
