She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
