Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
