have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
the raccoons are back...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
