wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
