get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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