Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
