so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
