Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
