Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
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