First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she looked like the before picture.
Sober January is a disaster.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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