i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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