he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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