I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
