I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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