You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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