so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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