Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
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