Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
