There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
