oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
