4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My bed smells like the plague
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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