Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
