I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
