Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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