So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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