Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
