yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think my vagina is haunted
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize