Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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