i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
