Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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