apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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