I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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