I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
