The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My balls are so social today.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
