So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
