A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize