Your tits are I can't wait for
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
