My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
