oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i came on her dog
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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