i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick