New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
