this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
