i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
