I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
