just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
