thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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