New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
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the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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